It has been a strange time lately. I keep looking for a cosmic reason -full moon, heavy air pressure, stars not aligned. In all seriousness I have been in my own tipping point of sorts, taking back some of my life from my family. Until I wrote those words, I wasn’t able to articulate the change but indeed I am becoming more independent again. I am entering the working world -albeit in a part-time and very scattered way. I am reffing lacrosse, volunteering in my church and school, planning summer lacrosse camps, and becoming a pure barre instructor. If you watch the Amazing Race, you may be in touch with what my life looks like. Here is a sample from yesterday:
6 at 6: Run six miles with my sanity group at 6 am./7:15 -8:15: Endless list of prodding and packing to get 3 girls ready for picture day and school/8:15 -9: Meeting for elementary school fundraiser/9:30 – 11:30: Tennis match (I lost which I hate)/12 -2: Pick up #3 and #1 (who called home sick) /run errands to return forgotten charity poster/grocery store to pick up supplies for birthday party tomorrow afternoon and charity event tomorrow night/2:45 meet 3rd grade running club at school/3 -4 run with 9 year olds, get interviewed by news, find missing child who was indeed not missing but got picked up by his mother who decided not to check him out. (It was not a fun exercise to come up with the words: Mrs. Stone? Yes Hi I am the parent who was supposed to be keeping your child safe along the greenway for the past hour and even though 7 of us have been looking for him for 15 minutes, we can’t find him. By any chance do you know where he is? Oh really, you picked him up and didn’t tell anyone because he just ran to the car and that seemed easier? Oh ok, we will take the same amount of effort next week and if he accidentally falls into the creek we will just keep going well because we have followed procedures for keeping the kids safe all the other weeks but this just seemed easier. Bye bye!) /4:15-8:30 drive across town to referee two lacrosse games one of which included 7 yellow cards and 3 time stopping injuries. /8:45 grocery store again to pick up forgotten items for party/9 snuggle with girls still awake waiting for Mommy, frost and decorate cake, make mac n cheese for 30,peel & slice carrots (because if you buys those stupid little ones you are missing the flavor of a carrot and supporting genetically modified food and my policy is to never buy mini carrots or pre-shredded cheese because they have no flavor and these two items are the cause for the American economy flailing./fall asleep watching March Madness at 11:30/Woken up by 4 year old at 4:15 ready for scintillating conversation./6 Start all over.
Yep it makes me tired too but I love it. I think it is better all around. I am thankful my husband is rising to the occasion and helping out with carpool and kid coverage and all the other rotating matrixes. I keep repeating this prayer and hope it sinks in. Besides there is plenty of time to sleep when I get old.
May God give you the grace never to sell yourself short; grace to risk something big for something good; grace to remember that the world is too dangerous for anything but truth and to small for anything but love.
You may have seen this on my blog before. What I had never seen is the second half of the prayer:
so, may god take your minds and think through them; may god take your lips and speak through them; may god take your hearts and set them on fire.
It got me thinking if I am the voice or face or spirit of God, not because I am perfect but because I am here on this earth and just as capable as anyone else, then I may not be doing my “job as messenger” so well. If I am the voice of God with this crazyass schedule, then God would probably have to start using text edits like LOL and TTYL and stuff like that to communicate because who has time to write a full word anymore? And shorthand quickly starts to sound like speaking in tongues or a bunch of mumbo jumbo. It gets pretty hard for anyone to understand.
I am not in a slow down phases of life. It feels like someone is going to contact me tomorrow about teachers gifts…and they will be meaning Christmas ones for next year. Warp speed, multi-tasking, supersized schedule, fall in to bed at 8:30 speed. I have always like it better that way but I am not sure it’s better for anyone around me. Which makes me think of a new joke:
Why did the chicken cross the road? She was looking for her head that got cut off in the rush!
I am a Doer, a problem solver, a Martha. That is probably not going to change, don’t really want it to. But I hope that in this busy-ness, I don’t lose sight of hearing God’s voice…and sharing it with the world, in long hand.